A Caring Guide For Parents Who Have Terminally-ill Children

Parents of children with cancer need to know that they are not alone. There are helpful resources to assist them during this challenging time. Foremost in concern should be the health and welfare of the child, along with the stability of the family. Local initiatives have listed helpful suggestions for coping:

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Be honest: Parents want to protect their children at all cost – but this should not be done by deliberately encouraging ignorance in the part of the child. Children need to know what is happening to them and how this is affecting their entire family. Be honest with the child. Death is a scary subject but talking about it can be cathartic for both the child and the parents. There are no hard or fast rules about this; parents should determine when and how they speak to their child about this. Regardless, the talk should take place as soon and as directly as possible.

Adjust to their needs: The child’s psychosocial and physical needs should not take a backseat amid the health struggles. As the cancer progresses, such needs will change. Parents are encouraged to maintain a semblance of normalcy in the family’s daily life. This includes allowing the child to attend school, letting him or her play, and building and maintaining friendships. Children need to feel that their illness is not who they are but a part of their body they simply live with.

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Find support: Parents need to take care of themselves too. It is not natural for parents to outlive their children and many marriages dissolve after the death of a child. Apart from preparing their child for death, parents should also prepare themselves for this eventuality. Seeking counseling is recommended.

It is never easy to care for a terminally-ill child. However, with the proper techniques and coping mechanisms, parents will find themselves learning to live their life as best they can.

Jay Blackmore of the Canadian Progress Club is passionate about helping children with cancer. His advocacy includes providing support for parents and caregivers. Learn more when you follow this blog.